Baby Talk

If the movies spoke truly to labour, preparing to deliver would combine a straightforward sequence of waters breaking, painful contractions and an impossibly clean baby placed on your chest – not to mention an instant recovery! While waters breaking and contractions are often part of the lead up to giving birth, here are some of the less obvious signs that labour is approaching and it’s soon time to meet your baby!

• The mucous plug. Also referred to as ‘the show’, the mucous plug resembles a thick blob of mucous that passes as the cervix starts to dilate in preparation for delivery. The mucous plug collects throughout your pregnancy in the cervical canal. While it’s about as pleasant it sounds, it actually acts as a barrier to prevent unwanted bacteria and other sources of infection from travelling into the uterus.

• Your baby ‘drops’. Medically known as ‘lightening’, your baby descends into the pelvis generally a few weeks before labour begins. While you might be taking even more trips to the bathroom as the baby’s head pushes on your bladder, you will also have a little extra breathing room!

• Your cervix dilates. In the days or weeks before delivery, your cervix begins to dilate (open) and efface (thin out), which is detected by your doctor during a pelvic examination.

• Cramps and back pain. As your muscles and joints shift and stretch in preparation for delivery, you may feel some cramping and pain in your lower back and pelvic region.

• Braxton-Hicks contractions. Sometimes referred to as ‘false labour’, Braxton-Hicks contractions usually occur towards the end of your pregnancy (sometimes earlier). They typically resemble a tightening or hardening sensation across the belly that do not occur at regular intervals.

• Loose bowels or diarrhoea. Alongside the muscles in your uterus, those in your rectum also begin to relax in preparation for birth. While this is natural (and annoying), remember to stay hydrated!

• Changes in vaginal discharge. You may notice an increase in vaginal discharge, as well as changes in consistency and colour that could appear anywhere from brownish to pinkish.

• Sudden nesting urge. Some women experience a burst of energy that drives them to clean and organise everything in sight in preparation for bringing baby home. While this is natural, be sure not to overdo it!

• Fatigue. Conversely, as discomfort and sleep disturbances increase, you may feel an intense exhaustion as you approach the final stages. Be sure to pile up on pillows and take naps wherever possible.

• Waters breaking. Rupture of the amniotic sac will lead to the release or leakage of fluid. This is typically not a dramatic gush, but rather a trickle or slow dripping. Despite how often this is portrayed in films (in the middle of a restaurant or supermarket aisle), many women don’t actually experience this until they are well-progressed into labour. So, don’t count on your waters breaking as a sure sign of nearing labour!

When approaching the final stages of your pregnancy, remember that everyone’s experience is different, so don’t worry if you ‘miss out’ on one or more of these symptoms. If you have any concerns or questions about your pregnancy or labour, always direct them to your doctor or midwife. And remember, though these signs and symptoms may be uncomfortable and irritating, they each serve a positive purpose that will bring you closer to meeting your baby!

Like pregnancy and labour, the postpartum period brings with it many new challenges. Not only are you nurturing a new life, but you’re also recovering from the epic feat of childbirth, which takes a significant toll on both your physical and emotional wellbeing. While this time may be taxing, planning this period early on in your pregnancy can prepare you for a smoother, more comfortable postpartum recovery.

1. Write it ALL down

With so much going on, it’s easy forget items you’ll need for yourself after the birth. From important contact numbers to postpartum essentials, clear your head of all the necessities by writing (or typing) it all down. Research everything you’ll need for the postpartum period and make a list, separating your needs from your newborn’s. As your pregnancy goes on, tick off each task and must-buy item one-by-one.

This process can not only prepare your new family with all the physical necessities, but it can also help you feel mentally ready for the recovery period. Having everything you need easily accessible encourages you to deliver with confidence and eliminates any frantic, last-minute shopping trips. If you can, complete this to-do list as early as possible so you can minimise stress in your third trimester and focus on resting and preparing for labour.

2. Cook in quantity

“That’s way too many frozen meals,” said no new parent ever! When making dinner throughout your pregnancy, cook your favourite meals in larger quantities and divide them up into labelled containers. These will be especially useful when pressing the START button on the microwave is about all the energy you can muster up for cooking. When there’s no time to slice, stir or sauté, your future self will be grateful for the range of home-cooked meals packed in your freezer.

3. Prepare to let go

Prepare to dial down your expectations: your hair might go unbrushed and the clothes may go unfolded for a little while. During the postpartum period, you’ll need to give both your mind and body time to recover. This means sleeping when your baby sleeps, proper nutrition and hydration and prioritising your personal needs – all of which rely on letting go of your usual to-dos like, polishing the kitchen bench and looking semi-decent (nobody expects a new mum to be looking their finest). Gradually, the chaos will subside, your body will begin to heal and you’ll find your parenting rhythm.

4. Use your nesting energy productively

Once you’ve bought the necessities and tackled all the essentials, like building the nursery and installing a car seat, ask yourself what else you’re going to need after the birth and what you’ll appreciate having prepared earlier. This could mean stocking the pantry with staples, washing blankets and linens, or making a kit for postpartum body care. Think soothing sprays, nipple balms and warm compresses, and have everything ready to go for when the time comes.

5. Establish your support base

Support comes in various forms. Whether you need someone to shop for groceries, watch baby while you shower or get the breast milk out of your hair, communicate your needs with your partner and keep them aware of how your recovery is progressing. Remember that if you’re feeling overwhelmed or you need some quiet time to yourself, don’t be afraid to ask for it. The postpartum period can be physically and emotionally exhausting, so be sure to establish your support network and accept all the help you can get.

Whether your body aches are boundless, you’ve been riddled with insomnia or your partner’s snoring could overshadow a 36-piece orchestra, sleep doesn’t tend to come as easy or be as restful when you’re pregnant. Ironically, your body needs it now more than ever. So, what can you do to help yourself rest easier at night and enhance the quality of your sleep?

During pregnancy, your body needs as much shut-eye as it can get. Not only is your body working twice as hard to nurture the growing foetus, but you’re also preparing for labour, the aftermath and the demands of caring for your newborn. Though your sleep tends to be lighter and less refreshing when you’re pregnant, it’s vital to try and get as much sleep as possible before your little one arrives.

Develop a relaxing bedtime routine

By establishing a soothing bedtime routine, you can help your body understand when it’s time to relax and prepare for sleep. Before the clock strikes bedtime, try a few relaxing rituals to determine which suit you best:

• Drink a warm cup of milk with honey or a small cup of caffeine-free tea.
• If you feel peckish, have a light snack, like a handful of nuts or a few crackers.
• Read a chapter or a few pages of a book.
• Take a warm shower to soothe any aching muscles and loosen up stiffness.
• Ask your partner for a gentle massage to help relax your body.

Avoid electronics at least an hour before bed

Exposure to blue light can drastically affect your body’s ability to fall asleep. Looking at your phone, laptop or TV screen before bed can fool your body into thinking it’s daytime by suppressing the release of the body’s sleep-inducing hormone, melatonin, which can then interfere with your natural internal clock. While you might feel inclined to go reading about pregnancy symptoms or worse, scary labour stories, avoid picking up electronics for at least one hour before lights out to help prepare your brain and body for sleep.

Time your dinner

Though tempting, steer clear of those late-night dinners and midnight fridge-rummages. Too much food too close to bedtime can increase your body temperature and forces your stomach to digest instead of slowing down, which can significantly disrupt your sleep. Eat a healthy, filling dinner early in the evening to prevent those late-night cravings and 2am hunger pains. If you feel peckish later on, indulge in a light snack an hour or two before settling down, so your body has time to digest before bed.

Be active during the day

Exercise is an excellent way to help you sleep more deeply when pregnant. So long as your doctor or medical professional approves, simple activities like walking or at-home pregnancy yoga can improve both your physical and mental health. Some light exercise during the day can help to release any pent-up energy, improve circulation and help you fall asleep easier at night. However, avoid any vigorous exercise too close to lights out, as this can also affect your ability to fall sleep.

Revel in relaxation techniques

Indulging in methods of relaxation can help you calm your mind and relax your muscles. This may include light stretching, massage therapy, deep breathing, meditation, or taking a warm bath or shower. Find the technique that works best for you and stick to it, maintaining this routine every night to help your body understand when it’s time to sleep.

If you’ve surrounded yourself with pillows, tried all of the above and sleep still doesn’t come, don’t wait for it. After 20 to 40 minutes (depending on how restless you become), hop out of bed and try encouraging your body to relax with some reading, writing or light chores, like paying a bill or jotting down your to-dos for tomorrow. You might just become tired enough to get the rest you need.

From taking over toys to hogging treats, learning to share can be a challenge for toddlers. Since sharing is not a natural habit for young children, it’s important to guide your child through this skill, as this will help them interact, socialise and play with others throughout their childhood. Here are some helpful tips for how to encourage your little one to share.

Set an example and practise at home

Toddlers tend to model the words and behaviours of those around them. Try and incorporate sharing daily and make a conscious effort to explain your actions as you do them. This could be through dividing food with your partner or passing on a toy to your toddler. Try and do this regularly throughout the day so that your toddler learns that this behaviour is normal and to be expected.

Point out sharing in others

If you notice sharing in other situations, point it out to your little one: ‘Wasn’t it nice of Tommy to share his toys with you?’ or ‘Dad halved his sandwich with you. That was kind of him, wasn’t it?’ It may take a while for them to register this fully, but as their emotions continue to develop, the message will start to sink in.

Play games that require taking turns

Play games with your child that involve turn-taking and sharing. Narrate your actions and talk your child through each step, repeating phrases like, ‘Now it’s your turn to add a block to the tower, then it’s my turn’ and ‘I’ll share my blue blocks with you, and you can share your red ones with me!’ This language will eventually help to normalise the behaviour.

Explain and encourage sharing on play dates

Play dates are a great opportunity to encourage sharing. If you are inviting friends or family around to play, explain to your toddler beforehand that they will need to share their toys. Ask them what games and items they’d like to share with their friend. If your child has a few favourite toys they are likely to guard with jealousy, it may be best to keep these out of the way in the meantime.

Praise sharing

As soon as you see your toddler sharing or exhibiting generosity, make a point of praising their actions. ‘That was lovely of you to share your ball with Ellie!’ or ‘Thank you for sharing your juice with me. That made me feel really nice.’

Teaching your child to share takes time, effort and patience. With these prompting tactics and a little bit of perseverance, you can help to establish these positive habits early, which will serve them when socialising and forming friendships throughout their childhood and later in life.

Toilet training is a big step for your little one! Starting too early can quickly backfire and lead to frustration for both you and your child, so it’s important to wait until they are ready to do business on their own. While every child learns at different stages, here are some common signs that they may be up for the challenge!

You’re changing fewer nappies

Up until around 18 to 20 months, kids relieve themselves so frequently that it’s unrealistic to expect them to control it. However, when your toddler stays dry for an hour or two at a time, it means their bladder capacity is increasing, which is the first crucial step to toilet training.

Your child understands when they’re going

When your little one becomes aware of their bodily functions, they might proudly announce that a bowel movement is about to strike. Your child might also communicate this through their behaviour; pulling facial expressions, grunting or hiding behind curtains are common signs that they recognise they’re in the process of going. Trying to toilet train before this point may prove difficult, as your child might not be aware enough of what’s going on to control their bladder.

Your child recognises a wet or dirty nappy

At some point, your toddler may start pulling at their nappy or asking you to change it. Some kids go through a phase of desperately wanting to escape the discomfort of soiled nappies. If your child recognises when their nappy needs replacing, it’s likely an excellent time to consider toilet training.

Their bathroom schedule is predictable

Whether you notice a bowel movement in the morning, after lunch or before bed, a regular rhythm signals that it might be time to pull out the potty. A predictable bathroom schedule indicates a higher likelihood of success.

Your child can undress themselves

To toilet train, your child must be able to pull up and down their pants easily. When nature calls, the potty won’t be useful unless your toddler has mastered the art of hiking up their skirt or yanking down their pants and pull-ups to complete their business. When your little one gains this skill independently, it’s likely time to set them up for the task.

Other signs that your child is ready for toilet training may include:

• They can follow simple instructions
• They’re becoming more independent
• They understand bathroom lingo, like “poo” and “wee”
• They can sit still for some time
• They follow you to the bathroom or show interest in the matter
• They wake up dry after naps

Whether it’s the food you prepare, the screen time you allow or the lack of time you spend at home, guilt tends to slither its way back into your conscience no matter what choice you make. This is because, despite the endless parenting advice we receive from our ancestors, books and parent blogs, the perfect parent does not exist.

So, before the voice of guilt condemns you any further, remember the following tips next time your conscience tries to convince you you’re a terrible parent. (Spoiler alert: you’re not!)

Focus on the positives

When you focus primarily on guilt, the emotion tends to grow and grow until you feel all-consumed and haunted by every supposedly bad choice you’ve made so far. Alternatively, by paying more attention to the positives, like that grade-A report you just submitted at work or that top-tier lasagna your kids just demolished, the joy will only grow. If guilt does rear its ugly head, try to balance it out with a positive; you may have run a little late for school pick-up, but you’re ready to close the laptop and silence the phone for some undivided attention and connection at home.

Stand by your choices

Clarify your values: ask yourself what’s important to you and make your choices based on this. When side-eyeing strangers, parenting books and online opinions have you questioning your decisions, having well-considered, value-based choices in place will make it a lot easier to show the guilt gremlin the exit.

Embrace your imperfections

One of the most important lessons you can teach your children is to love themselves despite being imperfect – a message that begins purely with you. Too often, the standard of parenting we set for ourselves is unrealistically high and unachievable. By appreciating your successes alongside your imperfections, you impart the more balanced and realistic idea that nobody is perfect and that is entirely okay. For instance, while you can’t commit to seeing every school performance, your nightly bedtime stories are out of this world!

Revisit your interests

Say it with us: taking care of yourself does not make you selfish – it makes you a better parent. (Repeat frequently as needed.) As your new motto, remind yourself of this statement every time you stop yourself from getting your hair done or going for a run because you feel like you’re neglecting your family. Letting go of this guilt and making time for yourself is vital. It doesn’t make you selfish, inconsiderate or neglectful; it reminds you of your own value and gives you the energy required to be a present parent and connect fully and more deeply with your family.

Find perspective

When you’re balancing various roles all at once – parent, business person, partner and so on – it’s easy to get lost in the petty, day-to-day quibbles and concerns of life. When guilt creeps its way back into your thoughts, zoom out and review the big picture: Are you a loving parent? Are you trying your best? Modern parenthood boasts as many challenges as it does rewards. So, if you answered yes to these fundamental questions, you’re doing a pretty marvellous job already.

From heartburn to pre-birth anxiety, there’s a myriad of reasons you might be struggling to sleep during your pregnancy. On top of your existing symptoms, sleep deprivation can affect both your physical and emotional wellbeing, adding frustration and even more fatigue to the list. To help you conquer those sleepless nights, here’s what you should know about insomnia and what you can do to cope.

When does insomnia start?

Insomnia, or the inability to fall or stay asleep, can happen at any point during those magical nine months. Increased progesterone levels in the first trimester can cause bouts of sleeplessness, while many expectant mothers experience insomnia more frequently in the second or third trimesters as other pregnancy symptoms increase. As your belly grows, it also becomes more difficult to get comfortable.

What causes insomnia?

Insomnia can occur for various reasons. Most commonly, it’s a complex combination of different factors and symptoms that cause difficulty falling and staying asleep.

• Hormonal changes
• Heartburn
• Leg cramping
• Body aches
• Frequent bathroom trips
• Discomfort due to growing baby bump
• Pre-birth anxiety or anticipation
• Frequent, vivid dreams

What can I do to cope with insomnia?

Before you get frustrated at your suddenly uncomfortable mattress or sickly snoring partner (did they always snore that loudly?!), remember that you might be getting more shut-eye than you realise. But, between your senseless dreams, parenting anxieties and oh-so frequent trips to the bathroom, it’s no wonder you feel like you’re surviving off 13 minutes of sleep at a time. So, if you’ve tried relaxation techniques, developed a bedtime routine and rest still doesn’t come, don’t wait for it.

After 30 to 40 minutes of trying to doze off (depending on how impatient you are), hop out of bed and try conquering a small task to encourage your body to feel tired or your mind to relax. Here are some handy things-to-do when the imp of insomnia strikes:

• Write it out: If you’re experiencing some anxiety about birth or parenting, write them down in a journal. This can help to clear your head of the concerns and relax your mind for sleep.
• Complete light chores: Pay a bill or jot down tomorrow’s to-do list to help organise your thoughts. Using your sleepless time productively can help your mind and body feel more prepared for rest.
• Read: Some light reading on the couch or in a cosy spot around your home can also encourage your brain to feel more tired.
• Meditation, yoga or breathing exercises: If your mind is muddled with thoughts, take some time to reconnect with yourself through meditation, yoga or rhythmic breathing. This can help to clear your head and prepare both your mind and body for sleep.

Remember, if your insomnia and exhaustion begin to affect your health and wellbeing, talk to your doctor about potential remedies.

Your little one’s first steps are one of their most exciting milestones! Whether they’re toddling steadily around the playroom or hurrying through the house, watching those little legs fly is often one of the highlights of early parenthood. So, when do babies begin to walk? And what can you do to support their physical development?

How does a baby learn to walk?

Babies tend to pass the following milestones on their way to walking and wobbling around:

• Rolling on the floor
• Sitting
• Crawling or scooting
• Pulling themselves up
• Moving around furniture

When do babies begin to walk?

Many babies begin to pull themselves up at around 9 months. After which, they may attempt to let go of whatever piece of furniture (or part of your leg) they’re grasping and fly solo. For most children, it takes a couple more months of wobbly attempts and tumbles before they develop the balance to stay upright on their own.

Most babies don’t take their first independent steps until after their first birthday, at around month 14 (on average). However, it’s not unusual for your little one to start cruising as early as 7 months or as late as 18 months.

It’s important to remember that every baby develops at their own pace. Your baby’s physical abilities may also depend on their wiring, build and temperament. For instance, a lean, highly active child will probably start strutting about earlier than a mellow, lounge-loving tot. So, while you can help to encourage their development, avoid adding unnecessary pressure and be sure to let them take their own journey.

How can I create a safe walking environment?

When those little legs start rocketing around, your baby’s safety takes top priority. Be sure to pad any sharp corners on furniture and use child locks and baby gates to block off unsafe areas, including stairways and low-lying drawers. Look around your home at your child’s eye level to spot any potential obstacles or hazardous zones before letting them run free-range.

How can I support my baby’s walking development?

When your little one starts pulling themselves up or pushing pint-sized shopping trolleys around the house, the best way to support them is to give them plenty of safe space and time to practise their moves. Let them roam around the living room, explore the backyard and give them lots of time outside the stroller, carrier or swing. You can also hold your baby’s hands while they walk to improve their balance and confidence, or entice them with a trail of toys, surrounded by soft cushions in the case of a tumble.

On the journey to walking, remember to let your little one take their time. Until they’re ready to tread solo, try and enjoy all the baby steps along the way.

Sibling relationships play a crucial role in how children learn to interact, resolve conflict and develop emotions such as empathy. Though these social skills take time to mature, it’s important to help guide your little ones through any sibling issues and to help them establish positive habits early on. Here are some helpful tips for nurturing healthy sibling relationships.

Avoid comparisons

Comparing your children is a sure way to build resentment and rivalry between siblings. Avoid negative terms and questions like, ‘Why can’t you listen like you sister?’ or ‘Your brother doesn’t talk back like that,’ as comparing different behaviours can make the other child feel hurt, insecure or resentful. Instead, observe each situation from a neutral and constructive position by focusing on the strength or weakness of each child individually, without referring to the other sibling.

Encourage cooperative play

Find activities that both or all children enjoy. Differences in age and interests can make this problematic but experiment with a variety of games and choose ones that require teamwork or shared skills. Fort-building or doing crafts can also be a great way to get your little ones bonding and enjoying each other’s company.

Respect and reinforce boundaries

While having a sibling can mean always having a playdate, a companion and a confidant, it can also mean having someone that is around all day every day. Respect each child’s feelings and needs with private one-on-one conversations. Explain the concept of boundaries and reinforce them when it’s time for some privacy or independent play.

Identify the cause of the conflict

If your children argue regularly, try and figure out what’s behind these disagreements. Are your kids fighting for your time and attention? Do they argue when they are bored? Once you recognise these patterns, you can put measures into place to help prevent conflict. For instance, you could try spending one-on-one time with each child or have rainy-day games prepared for when the bane of boredom strikes.

Encourage good listening skills

When an argument arises and you need to intervene, it’s important to try and guide your children through how to resolve the conflict on their own. Give each child time to discuss how they’re feeling and be sure to encourage the other to listen by preventing interruptions. With some prompting and perseverance, these listening skills will eventually help your little ones learn how to compromise, problem-solve and respect each other’s feelings.

Respect and appreciate differences

Differences in age, skills and interests can make it challenging for your little ones to get along. But, one of the best parts about having multiple children is being able to watch them get involved and excel in different areas. Make a point of celebrating each child by praising their unique interests, strengths and accomplishments equally. Modelling this as their parent will also encourage your children to respect each other’s differences, rather than fight over them.

Sibling arguments are an inevitable part of growing up. However, they also present the opportunity to guide your children through conflict resolution and start establishing positive habits for the future. With some patience, practice and perseverance, you can help foster an invaluable sibling bond that will serve them throughout their childhood and later in life.

Fear of the unknown is entirely natural. For many mothers-to-be, the prospect of labour poses some panic. But, the best way to ease your labour fears is to be as educated as possible about what to expect, so you can (hopefully) give birth with confidence!

Will I make it to the hospital on time?

Statistically, signs point to yes. You may have heard a story or two about women giving birth on freeways, but these are the exception. The average labour generally takes about eight hours. So, unless you live a city or two away from your hospital, there’s a high chance you will arrive with plenty of time.

Tip: Call your midwife or birthing specialist as soon as you experience signs of labour. Based on your symptoms, they will be able to tell you whether or not it’s time to head to the hospital. Also, remember that countless women give birth safely in hospital, but only crazy stories make news.

What if I poop while pushing?

No big deal – it happens to the best of us (and most, in fact)! You are likely the only one in the delivery room with this concern. When your little one is ready to exit, you have to rely on a bundle of muscles to push them out, including those in your rectum. Just like childbirth itself, it’s completely natural. Most seasoned nurses and midwives can quickly remove the evidence before you realised it even happened.

What about tearing?

Vaginal tearing refers to a laceration between the vagina and rectum that occurs as you’re pushing. This side effect is entirely natural and highly common among first-time mothers. Depending on the degree of your tear, you may require some stitches after birth and will likely experience some discomfort. The good news is that by week two, the tear will be mostly healed, and the stitches dissolved. The even-better news is that after your first vaginal birth, your tissue becomes more flexible, which makes tearing less likely for future deliveries.

What if I need a c-section?

Whether or not it’s in your birth plan, you should brace yourself for the possibility of a c-section. If complications do occur, a c-section could be the safest option for you and your baby. If your heart is set on delivering vaginally, be clear with your doctor and let them know that a c-section should be the last resort. It’s important to keep yourself informed about the realities of c-sections; this way you’ll be a little more prepared for the scenario should it occur.

What if I can’t handle the pain?

Oh, but you can, and you will! By this time, you are well-aware that childbirth is not pain-free. However, fearing this pain will only intensify your discomfort. Fear itself can make you breathe faster, become anxious, heighten your blood pressure, and tense up your muscles, which can all up the pain factor.

Going to childbirth classes, talking to other mothers, practising relaxation techniques and educating yourself about the birthing process can help to ease some of this pre-birth tension. You can also talk to your doctor about possible pain medication, like an epidural. Keep in mind that it’s natural to feel nervous about delivery, and countless other mothers-to-be are experiencing the same concerns.

Do remember that the pain you experience has a positive purpose: to thin and open your cervix in preparation for your baby’s arrival. Eventually, this pain ends, and you are left with your brand-new bundle of joy. In the meantime, keep yourself informed but steer clear of those scary stories!